Rindu

Rindu

Rindu itu
Suatu rasa
Tapi bukan sebarang alat
Boleh mengesannya

Bolehkah mata kasar
Merasai rasa rindu itu?
Bolehkah telefon bimbit
Mencerminkan rasa rindu itu?
Bolehkah satelit tercanggih milik AS
Menjejak rasa rindu itu?

Tidak.
Tak mungkin
Kerana rindu itu
Hanya dapat dirasai oleh hati
Bahkan
Bukan semua hati yang dapat mengecapi nikmatnya rindu
Seperti yang terakam di dalam nyanyian Hijjaz
“Rindu itu adalah, anugerah dari Allah”

Rindu itu
Bermacam-macam ragamnya
Kadangkala rindu pada ibu
Kemudian terbayang pula wajah berusia ayah
Terkenangkan rambutnya yang majoritinya sudah putih
Dan sememangnya tidak banyak lagi yang tinggal
Lantaran terlalu kuat dia bekerja
Memerah minda dan tenaga
Demi memberi kami makan KFC
Pizza Hut, dan Kenny Rogers
Oh, sungguh mewah hidup kami
Jangan bimbang ya abi,
Jangan pula marah ya abi,
Anak nakal ini hanya bergurau
Walaupun nakal,
Tidak mungkin anak ini meninggalkanmu
Mengabaikanmu di hari-hari tuamu,
Ini janji anakmu.

Sudah puas rindu pada orang tua teristimewa,
Melayang pula ingatan ini
Pada Akhi dan Ukhti

Aku hanya punya
Satu akhi
Dan satu ukhti
Ditambah semuanya
Jadilah kami bertiga
Bukannya tiga abdul
Tapi masih utuh hubungan
Lebih kukuh kasih kami
Daripada abdul bertiga itu

Hai akhi,
Janganlah terlalu gusar
Sesungguhnya takdirmu telah ditetapkan
Hiduplah dengan penuh kegembiraan
Hiduplah dengan penuh keceriaan
Sesungguhnya kamu, hai abangku,
Lebih bernilai
Lebih berpotensi
Lebih hebat
Berbanding apa yang difikirkan diri
Apa yang tinggal kini
Apa yang diperlukan hanya tinggal
Percaya pada diri sendiri
Itulah kunci yang selama ini dikau cari.

Duhai ukhti,
Kelebihan ukhti
Banyak sekali
Indah paras rupa
Membuatkan kakakmu ini ‘menderita’
‘Menderita’ sakit jiwa
Tapi sakit itu tiada makna
Kerana dikau tetap adikku
Adikku yang tercinta.

Selalu sahaja ceria
Lucu, suka berjenaka
Mungkin disebabkan nama kamu
“Farah” yang membawa makna
Keceriaan, keseronokan dan kegembiraan
Tapi, yang paling hebat sekali kelebihanmu
Ialah membuatkan kepala umi dan abi
Berpinar-pinar
Berputar-putar
Dek sikapmu yang tidak ambil peduli
Akan hal sekelilingmu
Oleh itu sentiasa memerlukan perhatian orang dewasa

Wahai adikku,
Cepat-cepatlah dewasa
Supaya ibu dan ayah yang dirindui
Tidak lagi bimbang
Keadaan kamu di asrama.

(Tapi seronok juga
Kalau kamu terus jadi anak kecil
Boleh lihat kepala umi dan abi
Berputar-putar setiap hari..
Hehehe)

Rindu di hatiku
Masih banyak lagi yang berbaki
Lantas
Apa lagi yang dapatku
Lampiaskan
Tempiaskan
Rintik-rintik hujan
Dari badai gelora rindu ini

Oh, sudah tentu
Bagaimana aku
Boleh lupa
Untuk merindui
Teman-temanku di luar sana.

Aduh teman,
Kerana kamulah yang paling jauh
Jauh jaraknya dariku saat ini
Kamulah yang paling aku rindukan.
Kadangkala
Temanlah yang lebih memahami diri
Temanlah yang selalu berada di sisi
Meminjam telinga untuk dibuat penadah suka duka
Kadangkala amarah yang dihambur
Tapi teman-temanku
Tetap setia di sampingku
Setia menadah
Tidak berpaling tadah
Maka
Adakah wajar kamu semua tidak kurindui?

Wahai teman,
Teman masa kecilku,
Teman zaman remajaku,
Serta teman-teman sedewasaku,
Tahukah kamu
Hatiku sarat dengan rindu?
Bayangkan sahaja ibu mengandung
Ibarat itulah kasih dan rinduku
Pada kamu semua
Tiada satu benda
Tiada satu harta
Yang dapat bertanding
Merebut tempat
Takhta pertama di hatiku.

Oops!
Sebentar,
Mungkin ada satu perkara
Yang bisa mengalahkan
Rasa rindu dan kasihku pada teman-teman sekalian
Ingin tahukah kamu?

Apakah lagi yang dapat mengalahkan rinduku pada kamu?
Benda apakah yang lebih hebat
Lebih tinggi nilainya di hatiku?

Wahai teman,
Ketahuilah,
Yang dapat menandingi kasihku padamu
Hanyalah
Kasih yang lebih tinggi
Kasih yang lebih unggul
Kasih yang lebih sejati
Itulah
Kasih Rabbul `Izzati
Serta kasih Rasul-Nya
Yang tidak lekang di bibirnya
“Ummati, ummati”.

Pesanku duhai teman,
Cintailah Tuhan dan Rasul-Nya
Melebihi kasihmu pada segala benda
Dan aku berani berjanji
Bahawa kasih kita akan terus abadi
Kasih kita akan terus tersulam
Menanti masanya
Kita bertemu kembali
Di pintu syurga yang abadi.
Insya-Allah,
Kerana itu bukan janjiku,
Bukan janji perdana menteriku,
Tetapi janji
Al-Kholiq, Maha Pencipta
Kepada para hamba-Nya.

Aku kan menanti..
Bersama rindu di hati
Pertemuan kita
Di akhirat sana.

Allah,
Kabulkan do`a

Hamba-hamba-Mu
Yang saling terikat
Rasa rindu yang hakiki.
Amin.

Adakah kalian sedang melihat bintang yang sama sepertiku..? Sungguh..hatiku basah dengan tangisan kerinduan pada teman-teman sekalian..

Jangan TeRlalu Berburuk Sangka pada VIRUS!

ASSALAMUALAIKUM.

Wah..dah dekat 5 hari tak bukak blogger..
Rindu rasanya..


Mula-mula ingat komputer terkena virus.. sebab antivirus tak boleh jalan..lepas tu database corrupted pulak. So, nak cuba update, tapi tak boleh nak bukak internet PULAK.. PULAK DAH..

Ayah pun beritahu aku.. aku ada masuk website islamik mana-mana tak?
Sebab virus trojan tu ada kod kata "Allah" or something like that, kata ayah..

Aku pun terfikir...
Memang aku ada buka website islamik..iluvislam.com, saifulislam.com...macam mana pulak virus trojan boleh 'menyusup' masuk ke komputer aku ni??

Hai..macam-macam cara pencipta-pencipta virus zaman siber ni ye..
tak ade kerje lain..
Cubalah guna kekreatifan tu ke arah kebaikan..kan bagus..dapat pahala lagi..hmm


Tapi...oh tetapi..rupa-rupanya.. aku telah berburuk sangka..

Malunyer..

Bukannya virus siber punya pasal..

Tapi 'virus terlupa bayar bil' punya pasal...

Sebenarnya ayah aku belum lagi bayar bil bulanan broadband celcom ni..

hehehe..malu kan? (Malu3x!)

Itulah padah berburuk sangka sangat. Memang, memang virus tu sejak azali lagi tak ada kebaikan langsung, tapi..kenela periksa betul2 apa masalahnya sebelum main tuduh je.

Zaman sekarang ni.. manusia lebih senang tuding jari, letak kesalahan kat bahu orang lain. Tak kisahlah apapun masalahnya, sama ada kes sekecil longkang tersumbat ataupun kes besar seperti meningkatnya peratusan wabak denggi, semuanya main tuding jari.

yela, tahula jari ada sepuluh, so sepuluh-sepuluhla dituding sesuka hati. Oh, ni semua salah majlis perbandaran sebab tak kutip sampah yang bertaburan. Nyamuk pun kata " home sweet home, baby!" Majlis Perbandaran pulak kata, " Sebenarnya penduduk kurang kesedaran terhadap kebersihan. Kita haruslah prihatin dan aktif dalam bergotong-royong membersihkan sampah dan bekas-bekas yang dapat dijadikan tempat pembiakan nyamuk."

Dua-dua betul. Tapi dua-dua juga salah.

Yang betul. Memang betul itu salah kita semua.

Yang salah. Ialah asyik banyak bercakap tapi jari terus menuding. Jari tidak bergerak untuk melaksanakan apa yang dikatakan. Mulut aje yang asiyk berceloteh kat televisyen..asyik giat berkempen..tapi hasilnya tetap "zero".

Eh, taklah, adA jugak hasilnya. Hasilnya tidur yang tidak nyenyak dan risiko dijangkiti wabak.

So, amalkan berbaik sangka.

Secara peribadi, nak berbaik sangka ni susah. Sebab yang zahir selalunya yang buruk. Macam waktu pergi pasar. Beli ikan, beli buah, mestila kita beli yang luarnya nampak sihat dan segar kan? Buah-buahan pulak beli yang memang masak warnanya, padahal kadang-kadang tak menjamin kemanisan pun. Sebab itulah "first impression" yang kita dapat lihat.

Jadi, nak berbaik sangka ni memang susah. Tapi, kata orang, "Bila dah berusaha keras, barulah nikmat rasanya hasil yang diperoleh". Jadi, tak apalah, biarlah bersusah-susah dulu, bersenang-senang kemudian. Siapa tahu, dari langkah pertama kita memulakan baik sangka, akan tersebarlah perasaan baik sangka itu dengan jiran, rakan, keluarga..bahkan musuh yang paling ketat pun akan jadi rakan paling akrab..

Ya..siapa yang tahu..

Melainkan Yang Maha Mengetahui!

KESUSAHAN BUKAN PENGHALANG

Akhirnya aku berpeluang melihatnya dengan mataku sendiri.

Akhirnya aku berpeluang melhatnya dari jarak yang sungguh dekat.

Aku dan dia hanya berjarak lebih kurang 1 meter. Begitu dekat sekali.

Aku dan adik Nik Nur Madihah.

Tak percaya?

Kenapa pulak tak percaya?

Aku tengok dia dan dia menatapku kembali. Yang berbeza hanyalah aku sedar dia melihatku tetapi dia tidak sedar aku sedang menonton dia.

Ya. Aku menontonnya di MHI pagi tadi.(kih3x…kene tipu..)

Tak sampai pun satu jam tadi aku melihatnya di kaca televisyen. Dia dan ayahnya yang tercinta, Encik Nik Mohd Kamal Husni bersama hos yang tidak asing lagi, Ahmad Fitri( ke Fikri..) dan seorang lagi hos yang aku tak begitu kenal. Turut serta ialah Encik Mohd Faizal, seorang lelaki misteri…

Wah, misterinya..siapa lelaki itu? Apakah hubungannya dengan adik cilik kita dari Kelantan itu? Jangan-jangan..lelaki tu…

a. ‘stalker’
b. pak cik dia
c. sepupu dia
d. tunang..??



Jeng..jeng jeng!

Semuanya pun bukan..(kukuku)

Sebenarnya lelaki itu seorang penulis. Dia dah pun siap menulis sebuah buku bertajuk, “Catatan Hati Nik Nur Madihah : Kesusahan Bukan Penghalang”. Terbitan PTS.


Jadi, pagi tadi adik Nik Nur Madihah dijemput ke Sri Pentas untuk ditemu ramah.

Berjubah hijau tua, ‘matching’ dengan tudung labuh hijau muda ‘apple’, itulah kali pertama aku dapat menatap sepuas-puasnya gadis berusia 17 tahun itu.

Aku mengaguminya.

Nik Nur Madihah bersama ayah dan ibu tercinta

Sinar bahagia jelas terpancar

Bukan sahaja kerana keputusan SPM yang begitu cemerlang, sehingga dinobatkan yang terbaik di bumi Malaysia ini bagi sesi 2008. Sesungguhnya 20A..itu satu nombor yang cukup besar. Dan pastinya cukup bermakna buat Encik Nik Mohd Kamal dan isterinya.

Anak sulung itu..kamu tahukah betapa besar pengorabanannya..betapa perit kesusahan mereka sekeluarga..

Sambil menikmati sarapan pagi Kellogs Frosties, perkataan yang kerap kali kedengaran di tengah-tengah perbualan mereka ialah ‘kesusahan’.

Tiba-tiba suapanku jadi semakin perlahan. Lalu terhenti. Aku terfikirkan kehidupan keluarga seperti keluarga adik pintar itu. Apakah pernah mereka menjamah sarapan pagi yang begitu lazat seperti yang aku makan sekarang ini?

Apakah yang menjadi rezeki mereka setiap hari?

Tiba-tiba sahaja perutku sudah kenyang..Kemudian telingaku menangkap kembali perbualan di MHI..

“Jadi, macam mana adik Nik Nur Madihah boleh menempuh kesusahan hidup dengan berpuasa dan sebagainya. Adakah dirasakan beban apabila terpaksa berpuasa demi menahan lapar dan dahaga? (Lebih kurang mcm ni kot..)

Jawab adik Madihah,

“ Sebenarnya berpuasa bukanlah suatu bebanan. Saya berpuasa kerana puasa itu
sendiri. Sebab puasa itu amalan sunat.”

“Dalam buku ni yang saya sempat baca sedikit tadi, saya mendapati yang adik Nik Nur Madihah banyak berdoa dan berserah pada Tuhan. Jadi, boleh kongsikan sedikit doa-doa yang diamalkan?”

Dijawab kembali,

“ Sebenarnya apabila berdoa ni, satu benda saja yang paling penting. Iaitu hati.
Apabila berdoa hati juga mestilah hadir bersama, supaya kita hayati doa itu.
Apabila saya berdoa, saya akan luahkan segala masalah saya kepada Allah SWT. Doa bukan maksudnya dalam bahasa Melayu atau bahasa Arab, tapi yang penting ialah kehadiran hati.”

Begitulah sedikit potongan drpd perbualan mereka. Namun, apa yang paling menyentuh hatiku ialah ucapan akhir daripada bapanya, Encik Nik Mohd Kamal sendiri, apabila diminta untuk memberikan apa-apa petua kepada para ibu dan bapa di Malaysia ini.

(Diam seketika) “ Saya ni bukanlah orang yang banyak ilmu ke apa..tapi satu sahaja yang menjadi prinsip saya ialah cari rezeki yang halal dan jauhi yang syubhah. Takpe, biarlah rezeki itu sedikit asalkan halal, daripada banyak tetapi syubhah.”

Semoga rezeki yang baik sentiasa bersama Encik Nik Mohd Kamal sekeluarga.

Cak! Eh, sori2.Teruskan belajar..!

Nik Nur Madihah turut menyatakan cita-citanya untuk menjadi seorang “Islamist Physician”. Katanya dia meminati subjek Fizik, tambahan pula tidak ramai yang sanggup terjun ke bidang ini, jadi dia mengambil keputusan untuk mendalami ilmu fizik di Jordan. Tetapi institusi pilihannya masih belum ditetapkan.

Hmm..itulah kisah seorang kakak sulung dari keluarga nelayan, yang tinggal di sebuah rumah usang dengan membayar sewa RM90 sebulan.

Ketika ditanya pernahkah dia menangis lantaran kesusahan hidup, dia dengan tenang dan ringkas menjawab,

“Menangis tu memang banyak kali. Bila tengok orang lain senang pergi sekolah, kita pulak susah nak pegi sekolah. Tapi saya selalu ingat pada keluarga saya. Saya sedar tanggungjawab sebagai anak sulung memang sangat besar dan memang mak dan ayah meletakkan harapan yang tinggi pada saya. Kalau saya rasa sedih dan susah, saya ‘motivate’kan diri sendiri supaya terus belajar dan berjaya dalam peperiksaan. Saya percaya kalau berjaya dalam peperiksaan saya tahu saya akan mampu membawa keluarga keluar dari kepompong kemiskinan.”

Keluarga. Kesusahan. Kemiskinan. Itu sememangnya bukanlah tembok penghalang, bahkan motivasi yang cukup kuat buat anak kelahiran Kelantan itu.

Tahniah, adik Nik Nur Madihah. Semoga berjaya dalam apa jua yang diusahakan.

Terbanglah ke Jordan dengan doa ibu, ayah dan seluruh warga Malaysia, dan pulanglah semula ke pangkuan tanah air dengan membawa seribu kebanggaan buat kami.

Kami menanti.

Unheard Voice of My Heart

alahai comelnye abang dgn adik

What do you do when what you speak of doesn’t truly mean what’s in your heart?

For example, today you want to tell your mother how much you love her.

Initially, your flawlessly planned sentence that you had spent the whole night working on goes like this,

“My dear beloved mother, know that not a minute goes by that I did not think of
you. If you are a bank, then I’m the loaner, because I owe you so much, that
there’s not a single account in this world can possibly hold all the love and
care you have given me all these years. I’m so lucky to have you as my mom. I’m
the world’s richest girl, don’t you know that mom? Not in wealth, but in
abundance of joy and love that we share. Nothing in this world can beat that. If
there is one thing in this world that you don’t have to be afraid of, it’s my
word that I’ll always be there to take care of you when you’re old. At least that’s one thing I can promise you with. Thank you, mom. Love you.”

Oh my, I can picture her right now..she’d cry her eyes out..but I’ll beat her too it..

Of course, I’m the most sentimental person on this planet. In Malaysia, people call people like me “jiwang”. (hahaha) Sometimes they add “karat”, making it “jiwang karat”! If the English people knew what it means LITERALLY, they’d laugh their tongues out!! (Sentimental rust!!)

Actually, it’s not just today. In fact, everyday you wish you could go up to her and say, “Mother, thank you for bringing me into this world. I love you, I always will.”

But then there’s this one voice inside you, saying,

“No, don’t do that! What would your mother think of you! Why would a girl say
that to her mom EVERYDAY? I mean, come on, it’s like you are obsessed or
something! Or maybe…you are a…les****??”

Before, I would have failed to come up with a good reason. But, surely, I’m not some demoralized creature who degrades herself to love the same gender!!

Eeeww..that’s the MOST DIGUSTING, FOUL AND STUPID THING a HUMAN can think of!

How creative, let’s try marrying the same sex, and see what’s it like. Could be fun, you know?
Yeah right.

How far more can a human humiliate himself in front of his Creator?

Back to me. Like I said, before, I myself couldn’t understand why I have this…this..tendency to love someone so much. Of course, it’s not so weird when you love your mom, dad, brothers and sisters.

But..sometimes..a lot of times, I miss the company of friends.

You know, pals. People with almost the same age as me.

I miss all the talk we had together. All the funny things (and sometimes stupid) we did together. Playing basketball (well, that wasn’t so much fun..but..they are still memories..*shrugs*).. Eat. Drink.Sleep. Cleaning the dorm. Go to class. Study together. Take exams together. (haha..that’s no fun)

Are friends family? I don’t know how to say that. I feel they’re like my family, because historically, WE ARE from one man and women, the Prophet Adam a.s and Hawa a.s. So…historically, we are ONE BIG HAPPY FAMILY, right? Hmm..

On the other hand, we’re not of the same mom and dad, so technically, we’re not family.

But all the same, I’ve always felt like there’s this invisible connection. There’s no rope that binds our hearts…but I’ve always felt like there is one. Well, especially among muslims.

Maybe it’s because of what we believe? All muslims believe in the same one principle, which is “There is no God but Allah, and Muhammad is His Messenger”. This principle is the oath of each muslim which we renew in our daily prayers.

Maybe ‘The Invisible Rope’ does exist. But WHO IS HOLDING IT?

WHO IS BRINGING THE MANY HEARTS AS ONE..under the banner of faith?

I believe in ‘The Invisible Rope’. Just like I believe in the invisible God.

I don’t see Him anywhere. I’ve never seen Him. In fact, nobody’s ever seen Him. Except a man named Muhammad ibnu Abdullah.(if I’m not mistaken)

But there is one book. A book which tells me many stories about Him. How He created the earth I step on everyday, the earth which gives me the air I breathe in and uses the air I breathe out. And in return, bears us fruits and colourful flowers. Stories on how He created the first human, Nabi Adam a.s. and how many more will descend from this man and his wife, Hawa a.s.

But, they will forget, says the book. Many will forget that they were created. Many will forget Who created them. Many will not even believe that there is a creator. These people, tells the book, will be dragged on their faces into An-Naar. What is this “An-Naar”, I asked the book? And the book answers, “It is the very worst place to go back to.”

It’s just a book. Nothing more. But is it really JUST A BOOK?

If it’s just a book, then who’s the AUTHOR?

Muhammad SAW says,

“These words are not from me, but know that they are from Allah, the God of the
whole universe”.

Indeed, for Muhammad cannot read, what more to write. Impossible for this man to have written such marvelous words. Enchanting yet they do not mislead. It is as clear as a full moon shining bright in the sky. Because it is the truth. The book “speaks” the truth.

Now, spectacular. That’s what I call amazing. It’s not some amazing circus act but it is still spectacular. The spectacular book.

Last but certainly not least, the book..the AUTHOR of the book tells its readers to LOVE.

“Love your brothers,” it said, “ more than you love yourself”.

Dear God, I do.

But I don’t want them to think weirdly of me. Because I’m still learning. I’m not a full grown up yet but I’m no kid either. I don’t know the best way to..emm..express my feelings. To let them know how much I care about them. That wherever I go their hearts and thoughts are always with me. Always.

But these feelings are locked. Locked away inside a chest. Inside my chest. In a locker called “the heart”.

And the tongue. God, the tongue is so mischievous.

It’s too fast. I wanted to say something else, but I ended up saying crappy things. Stupid things, most of the time. I couldn’t stop myself. And in the end..those precious thoughts are still locked away..forever waiting to be opened..so that they will mean something..instead of just waiting there..not filling it’s purpose..not reaching the hearts I miss so dearly..

That if they are sad, I too feel like crying..That if they are happy, I too felt like laughing. And if they’re no longer here, I too felt like my spirit is not in my body. Those feelings..dear God..are stored..waiting..for me to grow up.

Because an adult, can surely make better decisions, say the right words, that truly reflect her heart..rather than this young mischievous girl who still prefers to keep it a secret, than to openly face them, for fear her feelings have no place in this time and age.

Dear God, only you know..how much I miss Rasulullah, his companions, the muslims before me..who openly proclaim what I now have to keep in my heart a secret, which is

“I love you dear brother, even though you are not my blood brother, because
Allah says so. Whatever I possess is also yours, whatever your sorrows are
also mine, and whatever joy you feel brings great joy to me too..just because Allah
says so.”

Dear God, bring me someone who also has this secret in her heart, so that we both may unlock each other’s hearts.

For we, at last have found..who these feelings were meant for.

I’ll be waiting for you..my gift from Allah.

Please let us meet soon..for I can no longer keep this feeling inside my chest..it is too much for me to hold..alone.. for it is not for me..but it is for those who seek pure love and understanding. Love as muslims.

I’ll be waiting for you..whoever you are..

DOOMSDAY?

"Beware! The world will come to an end! One day..everything in this world..this entire universe..shall be detroyed! Doom is upon us humans! We are doomed...dooommed I tell you..!"

A filthy old man with his overgrown beard, tangled in a dark mass under his chin, this guy is no Santa Claus. Not that I believe in Santa Claus.

I always saw this kind of old man depicted in newspaper cartoons and in Western movies.

An old man, a beggar it seems, stands in the middle of a walkway, where bussinessmen are rushing by to go to important meetings and hundreds of other passer bys going to their destinations. The old man..holds a big sign saying, "Beware of the Doomsday o humans" or "The End is Near" or something of that sort. Beside him will be an old worn mug, for people who still have hearts to throw in some coins for the ragged man, amidst bustling of to their workplaces.


But, as expected, nobody sees him.

It's like he's not even there.

I'm not going to talk about the old man.

What I want to emphasize is his message.

The message that our prophet SAW constantly reminded his ummah of. And who is his "ummah"? Every living human that comes after him. With the condition that they believe in the existence of only One God, who created this universe and everything in it from nothing. They are the humans who can "claim" they are his ummah on this so-called doomsday..


I question the West or the users of English language, for that matter. My question is, why doomsday? Why use the word "doomsday"?

Will there really come this day, when all human races, from the time of Prophet Adam a.s until the very last person standing on this earthly soil, will be doomed?

I agree and I also disagree.

I agree. I believe that ONE DAY..A DAY when all humans will be gathered, together, to answer for everything, from the smallest grain of rice that he ate..until the very last word he utters before `Izrail a.s pulls his soul away from his body. I believe IT WILL COME, be it late or soon.


What I disagree..wholeheartedly, is the use of the term "doomsday". I hate it. Don't ever say that THE DAY is doomsday. I won't accept that. Because I believe..I BELIEVE THAT GOD IS AR-RAHMAN AR-RAHIM.


I believe..Allah will forgive humans..if we just shed our so-called "pride". Let us think for a moment. We are proud. Proud of what?

Well, I have a castle as big as a football field..I'm the CEO of the
world's richest company..I own a chain of hotels in 26 countries around the world..And I drive a Lamborghini to work. Oh, wait, I forgot. I don't have to work anymore cause I'm filthy rich.

Well, that's really something to be proud of. Oh, yes, definitely.

I bet you're also proud that because of your stinking rich assets, thousands, millions, billions of people are hungry.

What? Hungry? What, don't they have anything to eat back at their homes? I don't believe it! That's rubbish..

Oh wait. Let me paraphrase that. They're not hungy like when YOU ARE HUNGRY. THEY DIE FROM HUNGER. Millions are ALREADY DEAD, for your information. Do you know how painful that is? When death comes at you so slowly, that it pulls at you so slowly that you just wished you'd die RIGHT NOW? No, I bet that's just rubbish in your eyes. Now I understand where all that pride comes from. From taking away other people's lives. That's what you're proud of.

Thank goodness people like you ARE NOT GOD.

In fact, all the prophets have been saying the same message; there is only One God, and that is Allah SWT, the supreme creator, creating everything so easily that by only HIS WILL, the sun, the moon, the earth, the sky, the stars, the ever expanding galaxy just...POP OUT OF NOWHERE. If you can say pop.


Can you imagine it? No, we can't. Our minds can't grasp it. It's just too amazing to be put into words.

When Allah says, "Kun! Fayakun."(Become/Be! And so it becomes)

If I were to say to a chair,

"O chair, become the most handsome man in the world so that I can marry you (or something like that)"

What do you think is going to happen?

Well, first you start seeing many pairs of eyes fixed directly on you. And then you'll see their heads start to shake from side to side. Then their mouth says "Gile ke ape/Is she crazy or what?"


So, what is our will compared to the will of Allah? I had to say 16 words (count the o chair sentence), but still nothing happened..well, I'll become famous, that's for sure. But the chair remained a chair. If I said a thousand words even, the chair would still be a chair. Nothing more, nothing less. THAT IS THE "POWER" of my will. of a human's will.

Is there any "power" in it? No.


On the other hand, imagine just by His will, everything was suddenly there. All he had to say was "Kun!" And everything..EVERYTHING..big or small was created. All it takes is one word. His word. How powerful is that?


In the end, what is there to be proud of? Big cash? Classy cars? Big bungalows? Is that it, when the prophet also reminded us of D-day. When, everything will be destroyed, as if it was never there. When, in reality, you and I both know that we once lived here. Our house now. Our parents cars. Your pet fish. It was there. It was here. But, in the end, it's like it never happened.

So, what do we do? We work our b**t off to get a degree and now I'm saying it's all going to be dust?

Don't worry mates. As far as you're concerned, I'm working my b**t off too. But here's the catch. I'm also working my....body off for the future.

THE REAL BUT UNSEEN FUTURE.

Mates, our future is not here. Not in Ad-dunia. It's way ahead. Just look. Look beyond this life...and see for yourself, the REAL LIFE that Allah is offering us. We don't have to die anymore. But we have to "taste" death first. But don't worry. Because Allah promised us, it's only once. And the bonus is Al-Jannah. Or you could opt to stay in another place..what's its name..oh yes..An-Naar a.k.a The Hellfire. I'm sure we've all heard of that. But, that is the extend of Allah's offer. Two only. So, what's it gonna be?

Don't you see? Allah grants us immortality. Just like the West always dreamed of in their Hollywood movies. They cook up potions, like in Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone because they WANT to live forever.

Well, I think they are far behind because 1400 years ago..the prophet already told us about immortality. They really should learn from the prophet before making those movies. Then they'd realized that their concept is way outdated.

The road is tough, but nobody ever said life on earth was easy, especially not God. But, I believe in Him and His Messengers.


I believe that continuing to believe in Islam..in Al-Quran and Al-hadith..will..definitely qualify me, my family, friends, teachers and all muslims as rightful owners of the Jannah.



Believe..so you wouldn't be dreading about this "doomsday".



In fact, I promise you, Muhammand SAW promises us..Allah promises us that you'll be looking forward to it.



So, see you guys there, someday.

Moving On

When people ask me, “Where are you from?” Or in Bahasa Malaysia, ”Awak asal mana?”, I would always pause for a moment. Then I would answer, “You can say I’m from Kuala Lumpur or Kedah or Terengganu.” Then the person would say,”Wow, there’s so many answers. Which one is it?”

Actually all three are correct. I was born in Kuala Terengganu and lived there for some time. Then, we moved to KL because dad was transferred there. I remembered that I schooled in standard one for about 3 or was it 6 months in Sek Ren Al-Amin, then I was moving again. This time to Pinang Tunggal, a quiet, peaceful little place with tonnes of fresh air. That’s in Kedah. When I started standard five, we moved, AGAIN, but we didn’t left the state. We simply said, ”Bye-bye Pinang Tunggal and hello Bedong.”

Ok, I know. Bedong? Is it in Perak? Or isn’t it in Sarawak? Well, yes and no. Bedong is quite a common name for places in Malaysia, but this Bedong is in Kedah. It’s between Sungai Petani and Gurun. Ooo..now I know. Cakapla Sungai Petani, yang tu orang tahula..

Yeah,yeah. Bedong is really not famous, not even in Kedah. When I got there the first time, I felt like I was entering a cowboy town. The shops still used the 80’s buildings. And would you believe it, the old train station from the time of MY MOTHER was still there, just like it used to be.

Mom said, “This place never changes. It is like this then and is still the same now” while sighing. No argument there.

Coincidentally, Bedong is where my mother was born. Neat, huh? I think my mother loved the times we lived there, because her school was only ten minutes drive from home. Yes, she’s a teacher. She always said she missed living there…Huh? What do I mean by “missed living there?”. Oh wait, I forgot to tell you that AGAIN, we moved BACK TO KL. Because of Dad, of course.

Now, let me make a summary. In my 20 years of living, I’ve moved one, two…four! Yes, FOUR TIMES IN 20 YEARS. Wow. That’s some record.

So, there you have it. I can be from Terengganu or Kedah or KL. Depends on the question. But I usually say I’m from KL.


So, what’s the purpose of all this talk about moving?

Hahahaha…

Actually I don’t know.

I think I was just thinking the word “moving”. Moving can be physically as well as mentally.

Physically means moving from one place to another, just like when my family had that “moving Fever” back then. (haha)

But moving mentally means you yourself are changing. Changing to be a better student, maybe. Changing your life style, your hobbies, or whatever.

And right now I seem to be right in the middle of the changing zone.

Lately, I felt like all my past life is being made a movie. And I’m the only audience.

Watching your own flashback can be very painful. There were a lot of things that I regretted doing, wishing I could undo it all. Like being a better daughter. Caring about others more and myself less. Doing things for my own sake, not because to please other people. I really suffered back then.

I was sad. Depressed. Nothing in life makes me happy. Feel like giving up living. Why? Why live at all when there’s nothing to live for?

(Chuckles). But that’s the thing about pasts. They are already PAST. There’s nothing you can do about it.

So, this morning, after many months ‘watching my childhood cinema’. I “woke up”. Suddenly, I knew what’s the problem. I knew what I had to do.

I HAVE TO MOVE ON.

I said to myself this morning(no, I’m not crazy), “What the heck was I thinking? Stop dreaming. Stop it F*****h. Stop looking into the past for answers. THEY’RE NOT THERE. You’ve been living in the past ALL THIS TIME. That’s why you can’t see the great and wonderful things that are happening around you. That’s why nothing makes you happy. YOU’VE BEEN SEARCHING AT THE WRONG PLACES. YOU NEED TO MOVE ON”.

You need to move on…You need to move on…You need to move on…

It echoed in my head.

Suddenly everything was clear. No more sadness. No more confusions. After all, why confuse yourself with something that you can’t even touch anymore?

You can’t change what’s already happened. You CANT TURN BACK TIME. And even if you could, would things have really changed? Or would it have been of WORSE?

It could’ve been worse. Or it could’ve been better. But hey, it’s still a 50-50 chance. I don’t want to mess up my life because it’s already in a mess.

So, what should I do so that it ISN’T MESSY ANYMORE?

MOVE ON. That’s what I should do.

Hasan Al-Banna, a great man and muslim who is greatly admired by muslim youngsters including yours truly, once said, “When a person is moving from one phase to another, that is the most important time of his life”.

Like ipin always say, “Betul3x!”

True. I feel this is the most important phase of my life. I’m moving from a kid to an adult. I start to realize of the responsibilities I hold for my own life. I never cared before. But now I do. It means I’m changing. It means I’m moving.

I feel like a caterpillar in its pupa…waiting to come out and see the world… Will I have wings? What colour are they? The future..my future is yet to unfold..so full of uncertainties..I hope, no, I want to embrace my future with open arms. I want to challenge my future and battle my way to old age.

I want to be the butterfly..graceful and beautiful..soaring to the blue sky of the future.. finally out of her pupa of her past.

Hitam dan Kelabu

HMM. Dulu hitam. Sekarang dah kelabu sikit.

Ape kelabu-kelabu ni? Bulu kucing ke? Warna baju ke?

Tak pun macam satu pepatah tu, "Kelabu **** anjing"?

Hohoho. Bukan. Semuanya bukan.




Kalau ada orang dapat teka, bererti dia memiliki sekeping hati yang lembut dan penyayang.
Huhu..



Sebenarnya itu warna rambut mak. Dan juga ayah.



Dulu masa kecik-kecik tak nak tengok betul-betul. Tak ambil berat. Yang aku tahu cuma masalah diri sendiri je. Sekarang bila dah bertukar warna, barulah aku perasan.


Bahawa diriku dikurniakan seorang ibu dan ayah yang cukup menyayangi anak-anaknya.

Bahawa diriku sebenarnya anak yang bertuah.

"Memang bertuah! Mak cakap dah setengah jam tadi..kamu asyik cakap "ye mak, kejap lagi angah buat..kejap lagi, kejap lagi .." Last-last mak jugak yang buat..Bertuah punye budak.."

Memang itulah yang sering ibuku ucapkan kepadaku. Orang lain mungkin boleh tersengih-sengih macam kerang busuk, tapi aku ni jenis yang ekstrim sikit.

Aku bersifat 'defensive'. Maksudnya aku ni sebenarnya pantang ditegur. Kalau ada sesiapa yang tegur aku, tambah-tamabah waktu tu kepala tengah berserabut...apa lagi...jawabnya meledakla bom atom kat Malaysia!

Takdela garang sangat, bagi aku. Tapi hakikatnya aku rasa aku mmg garang. Sampai mak cik sebelah ayah aku cakap aku ni "cenge". Tu bahasa kedah, maksudnya "garang".


Kesian pulak kat mak ayah..


Haaii..kalau ingat2 balik aku ni memang seorang anak yg amat susah dijaga. (Sebenarnya dalam adik-beradik aku akulah 'dinobatkan' sebagai 'artis' paling popular dalam keluarga)


Pada zaman aku masih bayi, aku suka tidur dalam buaian. Buaian yang henjut-henjut manually tu. Mak ingatkan aku dah tidur, so dia pun lepaskan tangan. Elok je buaian tu berhenti, aku nangis.

"Waaa.....waaaa....waaa...meow.."

Ok, mane ade meow..Lantas, ibuku kembali mengayunkan buaianku dgn penuh kasih sayang. Oh, terharunya aku masa tu. Aku pun tidur kembali. Suasana rumah pun kembali sepi, sepi tanpa tangisanku yang comel itu.

"Ok. Dah tidur pun budak ni. Yes! Time mama pulak nak tido."(Mak aku kata dalam hati)

Satu..dua..


"Waaa..waaa..weee..uwee.."


"Ai..baru bilang satu dua dah jaga balik..waaa aku pun nak nangis jgk la.."(tangis makku dlm hatinya)

-perhatian: dialog adalah rekaan semata-mata. Tapi cerita ialah kisah benar.


Macam tulah kehidupan mak sambil menunggu aku membesar. Memang kene hayun buaian tu 24 jam. Agaknya mak aku time tu lagi rela hayun mangkuk kot drpd hayun aku!

Haha~takdela. takkanlah mak tak sayang anak. Ibu mana tak sayang anak kan? Yelah, dah kenal 9 bulan, mestilah dah jatuh cinta dengan bayi kan? Ke mana kita pergi, dia akan ikut bersama. Samalah jugak, mana dia pergi kita pun ikut. Yela, kongsi badan katakan. Macam remaja2 Malaysia sekarang, berkepit sana sini, kalah ibu mengandung. Ibu 9 bulan je, tapi 'generasi pemimpin' macam tak ada 'deadline' langsung kecuali kalau diorang betul2 akan mati time tu. Maka itulah 'deadline' mereka.


Mungkin diorang tu tak pernah nak usya kepala mak ayah diorang kot. Jangan cari kutu sudah. Kang tak pasal2 kene masuk hospital.


Maksudnya 'usya' rambut. Kalau dah mula keluar rambut2 putih, itu tandanya mereka semakin tua. Itu tandanya mereka semakin tak berdaya. Itu tandanya mereka pula yang perlu diberi perhatian. Itu tandanya mereka pula yang perlu dijaga.


Mak dan ayah. Mom and dad. Umi dan abi. Papa dan mama. Ringkas, tetapi cukup bermakna buat insan berpangkat anak.

Ingatlah jasa ibu bapa. Jangan berjanji kosong sahaja. Jagalah makan minum dan perasaan mereka. Wang tidak dapat menggantikan kasih sayang seorang anak.

Kasih sayang, itulah yang paling mereka dambakan di hari tua.


Mak, ayah, terima kasih atas segalanya.

Simple but Nice Album - The Prophet's Hands

Alhamdulillah, I found this nice collection of English Islamic songs in an album titled "The Prophet's Hands". Actually I was looking for Sami Yusuf's songs, but I found this instead. It's a joint collaboration of reknowned artists namely, Dawud Wharnsby-Ali, Yusuf Islam, Shaam, Zain Bhikha, and others. I downloaded the songs from this website, for...f.r.e.e.

Thank you so much for the website owner for allowing me to listen to such great, soothing yet remindful songs about Allah and his Prophet.

http://freenasheeds.blogspot.com/2008/12/prophets-hands-dawud-wharsby.html

Full Track List:
Introduction
The People Of The Boxes
The Crazy Spots Ive Prayed
Remember Allah
Whisper Of Pease Reprise
Dont Talk About Muhammad (Wonderful Nasheed)
Afraid To Read
Conclusion

Try listening to these. They're wonderful reminders of Our Creator.

Sesalan Abadi

Aduh!
Sedihnya hati ini
Tatkala teringat kembali
Kata-kata yang sering terpacul
Dari dua bibir ini

Bukan salah bibir sebenarnya
Tapi angkara sepotong daging lembut
Lembut
Tapi terlalu pantas gerakannya
Untukku kawal
Apabila aku tersedar
Ia sudah pun diam kembali
Dan pedang kata-kata itu
Sudah terlepas semuanya.

Berubah sedikit
Riak wajahnya
Namun hatinya
Pasti bukan sedikit calarnya
Bahkan tidak layak kukatakan “calar”
Kerana aku pasti
Aku telah menusuk kalbunya
Jauh hingga ke dasarnya

Memang dia tidak pernah memberitahu
Tapi
Apabila masa semakin berlalu
Perlahan-lahan aku rasakan
Bahawa dia semakin menjauhiku
Mengelak dari bertembung denganku

Usahlah kata bertembung mata
Tengok muka pun dah macam tak sudi
Apatah lagi kalau bertembung jasmani
Pasti ditukar haluannya
Atau dikeluarkan apa-apa saja alasannya
Mungkin benar, mungkin jua spontan
Tidak kisahlah apapun
Asalkan dia tidak bertemu mataku.

Wahai teman,
Tahukah kamu
TAHUKAH KAMU
Sesungguhnya aku sangat ingin
Untuk kamu mengetahui
Betapa dalamnya lautan sesalan
Betapa menggunungnya beban perasaan
Betapa banyaknya air mata yang berjuraian
Betapa dalam doa sentiasa kau di ingatan
Betapa sebelum lena kuterkenangkan
Betapa setelah celik mata aku maki diriku
Kerana keterlanjuranku

Bodoh!
Bahlul!
Tak guna!
Tak fikir dulu!
Bukannya kau takde otak!
Tuhan dah cipta kau cukup sempurna
Takkan benda-benda bodoh macam tu pun boleh kau terlepas!!

Lalu aku
Termenung pula
Beristighfar panjang
Kamu tahu kenapa?

Kerana…
Aku menyesali kebodohan diriku
Kepaculan lidahku
Kerana aku telah kehilangan
Seorang teman sebaik kamu.

Wahai teman,
Aku tak tahu sama ada kamu
Akan membuka diari mayaku ini
Tapi
Kalau kamu ditakdirkan membukanya
Lalu Membaca puisi ini
Ketahuilah..
Aku masih menagih..
Mengharap..
Walau secebis..seatom sekalipun
Maaf darimu
Maafkanlah aku

Teman,
Aku tak tahu cara apa lagi
Aku dah habis ikhtiar
Tapi kamu ingat ini
Harapanku tak akan habis
Tanganku akan sentiasa terbuka
Dan akan sentiasa mengharap
Sesuatu yang sudah lama aku dambakan
Iaitu
Persahabatan kamu
Ukhuwah kamu
Nasihat kamu
Kehadiran kamu
Dalam meniti
Sisa-sisa kembara hidup yang masih berbaki.

Wahai teman,
Sesungguhnya kamu tahu
Siapa yang aku maksudkan.

Maafkanlah aku…
Andai kata-kataku masih menghiris hatimu
Aku tak sengaja
Aku lembap
Maafkan aku
Aku betul2 menyesal

Maaf ya ukht…

"Sesungguhnya tidak berputus asa dari rahmat Allah melainkan orang2 kafir."

Dan aku masih.. beriman pada-Nya.

'Makanan' Paling Lazat di Alam Semesta

Kan kita selalu tengok iklan honey stars untuk menarik perhatian pelanggan kat televisyen. "Honey Stars, bintang paling lazat di alam semesta!" Begitulah motonya.

Tapi, tahukah bahawa terdapat makanan yang jauh lebih lazat daripada honey stars dalam alam semesta ini? Kalau buat undian sms, mesti kalah punya honey stars tu!

Ee..musykilnya..apa pulak yang lagi sedap daripada honey stars?

Ehem, banyak sebenarnya. Chef Wan dan para chef di Malaysia ni mesti kutuk aku. Takkanlah tak pernah dengar pasal masakan-masakan kitorang yang sememangnya popular kat tanah air ni? Resepi-resepi kuih raya pun berlambak-lambak ditayangkan kat TV sewaktu musim menjelang Hari Raya.

Sabar Chef Wan, sabar. Saya kenalla Chef Wan, siapa yang tak kenal? Sejak saya pandai berkata-kata, nama Chef Wan yang selalu meniti kat mulut ni..(hehe melampau tu)

Habis tu, apa makanan yang paling lazat ni?? Cepatla bagitau!

Ok. Klu dia,

1.makanan ni hanya dimakan oleh satu kelompok manusia sahaja

2.binatang tak boleh makan

3.Percuma! (bestnye!)

3.dimakan sekurang-kurangnya 5 kali sehari sebab sedap sangat! Sampaikan ada orang yang ketagih, dia makan bila-bila je dia rasa lapar!

Ha..dah tahu?

Okla. Makanan yang paling lazat di alam semesta ini, yang kalah honey stars dan masakan chef wan, masakan saya pun (yeke)...jatuh kepada....

S.O.L.A.T

Ya, itulah dia 'makanan' yang paling lazat di alam semesta.

Betulkan, solat cuma dilakukan oleh umat Islam, manusia lain tak buat. Haiwan memangla tak leh solat. Ade ke kita tgh jalan-jalan, tiba2 kita nampak satu jemaah kucing tgh sujud kat lorong belakang rumah!? Eeerr...ngerinya...

Dan solat wajib ke atas umat Islam hanya 5 kali sehari. Tapi, saya dah cakap tadi ada segolongan yang ketagih, dia tambah sendiri.

Kalau pergi kenduri boleh makan nasi tambah sampai dua tiga pinggan, kenapa kita tak boleh tambah makanan yang lagi satu jenis ni?

Alhamdulillah, kita telah memberikan hak-hak asasi tubuh badan dengan cukup sempurna. Makan cukup, minum beres, tidur...terlebih.

Tapi, awas! Kita selalu mengabaikan roh tanpa disedari. Roh pun lapar jugak. Tapi makanannya lain sikit. Manusia diciptakan dengan dua unsur ini. Jasad dan roh. Kalau jasad saja apa namanya? MAYAT. Kalau roh saja apa namanya? HAAaannnNNTUUU... Tapi kalau digabungkan kedua-dua unsur itu, apa pula namanya? Insan. Jadi, apa salahnya..bukan..memang sepatutnya kita adil dalam menjaga 'kebajikan' kedua-dua jasmani dan rohani.

"Dalam badan manusia ada dua perkara, iaitu nafsu dan iman. Kalau nafsu kuat
maka lemahlah iman. Begitu juga sebaliknya."

Lebih kurang macam tulah kata Imam Ghazali. Bermaksud, kalau iman yang kuat, nafsu akan mudah dikalahkan. Tapi kalau nafsu pula yang jadi raja, iman akan jadi hamba. Logik kan?

Kita boleh memilih. Betul. Cuba diam sejenak. Dengar tak?

Bukan lalat la!

Dengarkan..suara hati yang berdegup kencang..dlm dada tu..

Btw, bagi pelajar2 aliran sains, kamu tahu tak ritma degupan jantung bukannya "lub-dup, lub-dup" seperti yang tertulis dlm semua buku biologi. Menurut kawan saya, sebenarnya degup jantung bunyinya..."Rabb Rabb, Rabb Rabb"(Tuhan Tuhan, Tuhan Tuhan). Kata kawan saya tu dia dengar dari kawan dia yang belajar di Universiti Al-Azhar. Saya percaya kebenaran perkara ni. Anda?

Daging tu..siapa punya? Daging yang tak pernah berehat, kecuali sewaktu kita bersin sahaja, daging tu, ada dalam dada siapa? Sebab itulah umat Islam dianjurkan menyebut "Alhamdulillah" selepas bersin, sebagai tanda bersyukur jantung kita dapat berehat sekejap daripada tugasnya yang amat penting itu.

Tolonglah ingat, ingatlah walau sedetik pun..Ingatlah bahawa hati itu milik kita. Pilihlah yang terbaik antara dua. Pilihan kita dah diringkaskan pun. Tuhan minta kita pilih dua je. Allah dan RasulNya atau Syaitan. Kamu nak pilih siapa?

Tunaikanlah solat. Bagi peluang kepada hati untuk bertemu Tuhan. Lupakan sekejap bumi tempat kaki berpijak. Sekejap je. Berilah solat yang terbaik yang kamu mampu. Saya yakin, Allah melihat hati, bukan duniawi.

"Sesungguhnya solat dua orang berjemaah lebih baik daipada solat dua orang
bersendirian. Sesungguhnya solat tiga orang berjemaah lebih baik drpd solat dua
orang berjemaah. "

Dengar tak apa Rasulullah wasiatkan?

Kalau solat nasi paling lazat di alam semesta, jadi solat berjemaah tu mcm nasi paling lazat ditabur dengan bawang goreng, rempah ratus yg best2 dan apa saja seasoning yg korg suka.

Percayalah cakap saya, solat ialah 'makanan' yang paling lazat di alam semesta.

p/s.kalau tak caya jugak tryla sendiri n tak yah kuar modal apa2pun

Boikot..hmm

Sewaktu aku sedang menyemak 'inbox' mesej di friendster, aku terjumpa satu mesej lama ini... Agak lama sebenarnya, umur dia satu tahun 7 hari..

BOIKOT-PRODUK DARI BELANDA/DUTCH
Tuesday 01 April 2008 - 11:28:57


1.Dutch Lady - Susu (pernah boikot, still boikot, tapi boikot sendiri2, tak dpt nak ajak org lagi..)

2.Ferrero Roche - Coklat(pernah mkn, sgt suka,tp skrg dah lama tak mkn)

3.Wall’s - Ais Krim(of course prnh mkn, am i boycotting? kene cek peti ais ni..)

4.ng -Insurans(don't know if my family applies)

5.Planta -Magerin(em..using)

6.Lady’s Choice -Magerin(bukan ada peanut butter spread ke? kalau peanut butter pernah guna, mrjerin tak pernah)

7.Lipton -Teh(masih ada stock lama, rasanya orang bagi dulu..ape2pun, masih minum

8.Shell -Minyak(not a fan, prefer petronas)

9.Knorr -Perisa Makanan(mum's using, and i ate her cooking,which means yes i'm using)

10.Dove -Mandian (not using)

11.Sunlight -Magerin/Pencuci Pinggan (pencuci piggan gune)

12.Radiant -Deodoran (tak penah dengar)

13.Rexona -Deodoran(guna)

14.Ponds -Produk Kecantikan(nope)

15.Kieldsens -Coklat(ape tu??)

16.Slimfast -Produk Pelangsing(Tak gune,slim dah..hehehe)

17.Lego -Kismis(dulu selalu jgk makan)

18.Philips -Barangan Elektrik(tak rasanya)

20.Duyvis -Makanan Ringan(tak pernah dgr)

21.Gouda -Keju(tak penah dgr)

22.Robin -Pencuci Lantai/Pakaian(peliknye nama)

23.Ariel -Pencuci Lantai/Pakaian(yg ni pon mcm nama kartun disney)

24.Omo -Pencuci Lantai/Pakaian(hahaha)

25.Labello -Lip Balm(no)

26.Pickwick -Teh(seriously, their not good at names)

27.Venz -Mentega Coklat(no)

28.Kinder Bueno -Coklat(not a fan)

29.Unilever -Syarikat(too many unilever products, & i tot it's a thai company)

30.Sunsilk -Shampoo(adik pernah guna)

31.Fair & Lovely -Produk Kecantikan(tak perlu..haha,jahatnye)

32.Lux -Mandian(mcm pernah je)

33.Vaseline -Lip Balm(hari tu terbeli, yg giant pulak tu)

34.Cif -Pencuci Lantai(mak aku cukup suka brand ni..)

35.Surf -Pencuci Kain(cuci kain ke nak pegi laut ni)

36.Wishbone -Pencuci Kain(hahaha!)

37.Doriana - Keju Krim(nama2 dia mmg best..)

38.Bertolli -Minyak Masak(tak femes pun)

39.Clear -Shampoo(semalam br guna..)

40.Breeze -Pencuci Kain(ingatkan M'sia punya..)

41.Sun -Pencuci Kain(no)

Produk Dumex dan Nutricia telah digugurkan dari senarai di atas kerana pihak pengurusan NUMICO DUMEX (MALAYSIA) SDN BHD telah menghubungi pengurusan tertinggi PPIM dan mengesahkan syarikat mereka telah diambil alih oleh Danone Group sejak akhir 2007 dan menggunakan nama Danone Dumex yang berasal dari Perancis.-admin PPIM-

Jadi, berdasarkan survey/bancian yg dibuat sendiri, nampaknya 12 item aku masih guna, 4 ragu2, 23 diboikot. lebih kurangla. malas nak kira.

Kesimpulannya di sini, bukan senang untuk boikot sepenuhnya produk2 orang tidak beriman ni. Sebab kita dah selesa guna dan memang brg2 tu bagus. Tapi boleh sebenarnya, hendak seribu daya tak hendak seribu dalih.

Cara penyelesaian: orang2 islam kene lagi aktif dalam bidang perniagaan. Supaya orang islam ada sumber yg betul2 diyakini. Contohnya macam syarikat ubat gigi mukmin yg sedang berkembang. Kalaulah aku ada banyak duit, i-Allah akan cuba berniaga..tp nak jual ape ye?

Kaum Hawa, Waspadalah!

Petikan dari mesej di Friendster :

Menurut laporan Polis seorang wanita telah dirogol oleh 5 lelaki disebuah kelab malam di Singapura pada malam Sabtu sebelum ditinggalkan. Wanita tersebut tidak berupaya untuk mengingati kejadian malam tersebut, namun ujian mengesahkan bahawa beliau telah dirogol berulang kali dengan kesan rohypnol di dalam darahnya dan progestrex, sejenis pil "mencuci" yang kecil. Dadah tersebut kini digunakan oleh perogol-perogol dan kemudian "mencuci" mereka. Progesterex dibekalkan kepada para Doktor haiwan untuk"mencuci"haiwan besar. Khabarnya Progesterex digunakan bersama Rohypnol, sebagai dadah "Dating" dan rogol. Apa yang mereka perlu lakukan ialah menitiskan Rohypnol ke dalam minuman si gadis, mangsa tersebut tidak akan ingat apa-apa pun esok paginya, apa yang berlaku kepadanya sepanjang malam tersebut.Progesterex amat senang larut dalam minuman, akan "mencuci" agar si mangsa tidak akan mengandung akibat dari perkosaan tersebut dan siperogol tidak bimbang untuk perlu menjalani ujian air mani dan DNA kemudian.Kesan dadah ini adalah K*E*K*A*L terhadap si mangsa. Prodesterex asalnya adalah untuk memandulkan kuda, Mana-mana wanita yang mengambilnya TIDAK AKAN MENGANDUNG SAMPAI BILA-BILA. Si durjana boleh memperolehi dadah ini boleh mendapatkan dadah ini dari pusat haiwan atau mana-mana universiti, dan ia diramalkan akan digunakan dengan berleluasa di kampus-kampus.Tolong edarkan maklumat ini kepada semua yang anda kenali, terutama teman wanita dan gadis remaja.

09/25/2008 5:20 pm

p/s: Mesej ini masih baru (bulan 9 tahun 2008). Jadi, kemungkinan dadah ini masih berleluasa amatlah TINGGI.

Kaum Hawa, hati-hatilah. Ingat, salah satu KELEMAHAN TERBESAR LELAKI ialah wanita.

Obama and Change, So What of Us, Malaysia??

The United States Defence Department is cutting unnecessary cost as well as promoting new programmes which could result in more people losing their jobs. A bad situation, considering the economic slowdown.

Robert Gates, Defence Secretary of the US declared on Monday(yesterday) that, "The nation should stop pouring billions into futuristic, super-expensive F-22 jet fighters, pull the plug on new presidential helicopters and put the money into systems U.S. soldiers can use against actual foes".

Looks like Obama is really managing his finances well, given this latest revamp of the US defence deparment. He is cutting unnecessary cost like the purchase of new presidential helicopters and additional F-22 Raptor which btw costs $140 million(US D) apiece. Imagine what we could do with such a lot of money. If I had that much money, I'd build schools, raise new business companies, open new industries so that more job opportunities would be opened. Besides,

Rasulullah SAW said, "Business / trading consist of 9 out
of 10 doors of 'rezeki'."

Gates further said the US Defence would allocate more funding to more realistic and needed army sectors like outfitting special troops who could track down insurgents. Insurgents means 'kebangkitan' or in this case 'penentangan'. Does it also mean terrorist? Maybe. Maybe not.
Hope it doesn't.

Anyway, this is further proof that Obama is really executing change, which he constantly repeated before he was elected President. I would like to see this type of spirit, determination implemented into Malaysia's administration.

If Malaysia is to become a 'negara maju' by what, 2020 I think, Malaysians, the 'rakyat' namely, MUST THINK BIG. THINK OUT OF THE BOX. We are still very much behind in terms of "mind", thinking and perception compared with "superior" countries like Japan, the pride of the East, German, Switzerland, and many other European countries, and the US of course.

What is the problem here? The problem is that we are not one.

Like Dato' Seri Najib's idea or vision as the sixth PM of "One Malaysia". I have heard since I was what, a primary schooler, that Malaysia is a unique country, with its many races and culture. Tourists always say those phrases.

But in our ID (kad pengenalan), we are still stated according to what race we are. E.g, malay, india, cina, iban, bumiputera etc. Why not just put "Malaysian"? Just get rid of that old mindset of "I'm Malay and you're Chinese so we can't be friends 'cause we're different. I'm born here, in Tanah Melayu and you're ancestors were from China, so you're like second class 'cause you're not originally from here..." That's just an example, mind you.

Why not just put the past behind us and set a new future together? We always talked about racial harmony but how many of us actually practice it in real life? In Al-Quran it is stated that,
"We have created humans from a male and a female. And we created you from tribes so that you may know each other."

I don't know really well about other religions but surely they teach moral values to their followers. And what's a better morale than unity?

Let us become Malaysians. Stamp the word "I AM A MALAYSIAN" in our hearts in big,bold letters.(I would have it stamped on my forehead if I could...er...really??)

If anyone asks who you are, stand straight and proudly proclaim, "I'm a Malaysian." And start promoting Malaysia..."Do you know that there are great sales happening in Kuala Lumpur this month? I can take you to Sogo, they have the greatest bargains! And this year is also Tahun Melawat Negeri...and did you know..."

source:http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/defense_budget

Chaotic Earth

We ARE REALLY LIVING IN THE END TIMES. Our prophet Muhammad SAW, and I'm sure other prophets and messengers before him have foretold humans that there will come a day, where everything is destroyed and humans will be judged for their deeds. Yeah, EVERYBODY KNOWS THAT. Or so they think. Or so we think. Because clearly what's going on in the world right now is no reflection that they believe will be a day of judgement.

Let's take a closer look at the current issues, shall we?...

No 1. Global Economic Crisis

If there is anybody on earth right now who have not heard of this..then he is either already really poor(so whether the economy plunges or not it simply has no effect on him) or simply because they don't care because it's not their business (like most of our teenagers..). Maybe after there's no more electricity and they can't access their favourite clips on You

Tube, no more internet or file downloading, maybe then they're going to ask, "Hey, yo, what's going on here? Where'd the power go?" And their parents would say, "Son, in case you haven't notice, we don't have that much money as we used to, so we need to let go of electricity once in a while." And then came the son's reply, "What, so you didn't pay the bills??" And I'll say, yeah bro, in case you haven't notice, THE WHOLE WORLD is in a recession, and I quote the reporters favourite line this month, "The worst economic slowdown since after the World War 2".

If you've been watching tv, you'll notice that unemployment rates are rising faster than you can say "Dato' Seri Najib". Everyone is really worried because unemployment means no income. When there's no income, people will resort to unhelathy measures to get income. By unhealthy, I'm referring to crime. Robbery,looting etc. In fact, someone went crazy in New York because he was concerned with his employment situation. Being a vietnamese living in America, his English wasn't so good, so people teased him. Angry at the situations, he went on a rampage and shot dead 13 people before shooting himself last Friday, at Birmingham.

The economic crisis is turning the world into chaos. Ironically, some people doesn't seem affected .

I don't mean to be negative on my own country but honestly, our teens act as if nothing happened. As if it doesn't concern them at all. You can see for yourself how ignorant Malaysian teens are. Especially Malays. I'm not playing racism here but of all people, they are the ones whom I see most often LOUNGING DOING NOTHING 'beneficial' at shopping complexes!! Yeah I'm mad. Im mad because they are throwing their lives away..away for nothing. What do you get exactly by "hanging out" with you buddies and pals? Hey, let's go watch a movie, or sing karaoke or just window shopping, or see the beautiful girls who have no shame letting us see their fleshy bodies? Like I said, we are the living in the end times.

No 2 Politics, politics, politics

I like this. Not really. Lately I really like to do flashbacks, look at the past. Because I see beautiful, quality LEADERSHIP in the past. But, that's the point. It's all in the past. NOW, however, I do not see any decent kind of leadership in the country. Because I don't know who to trust anymore. I used to like Dato' Seri Anwar Ibrahim. When he was sent to jail, to me, he was innocent. But I'm judging using my emotions only. Fair judgement cannot be determined only by the heart. The results would be disastrous. And I was still a small kid at the time, so I did'nt really know anything.After he was released some time ago, I looked forward as to what he will do next. Of course, many people assumed he was going into politics again, contest, win the people's hearts, become the people's voice.

However..yes..however, he didn't become the inspiration I thought he'd be. I thought he would have looked beyond, far beyond the political horizons. I thought he loved the people. He, being a muslim himself. I thought he was a true muslim leader. But, now I don't know anymore.

Malaysia's current political situation is in a whirlwind. Like the wind, it changes without warning. Nobody knows as to what will happen next. It seems that Malaysians truely knows the "power" that they hold in their hands, as voters. Good, really. Seems like the only good thing in all these muddly times.

Prophet Muhammad SAW always stressed on the characteristics of the end times. For example, what will the situation be like and what sort of people will live in those times. Among the most popular qualities were;

1. Frequent natural disasters (earthquakes, volcanic eruptions, and most recently, global warming)

2. Lies / fitnah a norm

3. Unfit people become leaders

4. Crime uncurbed(robbery, rape, etc.)

5. War (World War 1, ww2, Iran-Iraq War, Unrest in Thailand, North Korea) is normal

Doesn't it frighten you that all of these things are happening RIGHT NOW?

If it hasn't happened already, it will happen tomorrow. Or the day after tomorrow. Or the next day. And so on.

Fitnah IS EVERYWHERE. I dont' know who to trust anymore. One politician says, "I'm innocent." Then the accuser says, "No, you must believe me. He did it. He is guilty." So they are throwing the ball at each other. Thank goodness Malaysia still upholds democracy, otherwise we'd all be dead already due to their 'ball throwing'. Enemies could snuck pass our defenses while our 'leaders' bicker on who is right and who is wrong.

No 3 The world shouts, "I'm dying!"

Ok. Of course the earth can't shout like humans do. Or meaow like a cat when it's hungry. Or bark like a dog when he spots a thief. But everything has its own way of expressing himself. The earth uses her(?) 'body language'. She throws up large masses of lava though her 'volcanous' mountains. She 'rocks' the soil until it cracks, bringing down houses and buildings while she's at it. (Like a band bringing down the house with their rock music.) There's also the aftermath of her quakes, widely known as tsunami(japanese=big waves). She blows down towns and tears cities with hurricanes, tornadoes and storms. Humans also got splashed by the earth's tears of sadness until their homes were flooded. Humans termed the earth's dying message collectively as "natural disasters". What the earth is actually trying to say is,

"O humans! Beware, for I am dying. The end is near for all of us."

No 4 Muslims disunited

"Goaaalll!!" That's another goal from Christiano Ronaldo of Manchester United. The only unity that people, especially muslims seem to care about these days. Their fav soccer idol triumphs yet again while their own 'brother' is starving, naked and homeless on many other parts of the world. How can a person lives happily while his brother, his own brother is abandoned? These people should be put on trial for abusing human rights! Well, these brothers are brothers with blood ties. But of a more complex tie. And that is the tie of faith.

"And your iman(faith) is not the true iman until you love your brother more than you love yourself."

Prophet Muhammad SAW said that to muslims over 1400 years ago. Is it too old a saying in this modern age?

Yesterday, tv3 world news continues to report unrest from Pakistan, a muslim country. In last month alone, there were many attacks on the new government, which if I'm not mistaken is under a new women leaderhip. Among the worst attacks that were highlighted in the media were the murders committed by border patrols on army forces. It is reported that the border patrols were not satisfied with the low wages they received compared to the army personnel, when they are doing far more dangerous work. Pakistan borders Afghanistan, which has been in chaos since I was still small. So, the dissatisfied border patrols killed dozens of army personnel and hid their bodies. It was not long after the bodies were discovered. Following this incident was the quite recent attack on a police academy, last Monday. Taliban leader Baitullah Mehsud claimed he was responsible for the attack, saying he did it as a retaliation for missile attacks by the US.

That is the story of Pakistan. What about Afghanistan, Iraq, Iran and other muslim countries?

(Sigh) We. Are clearly torn apart. That's why I like to read stories of leadership during the days of the Sahabah, Khulafa' Ar-Rasyidin. Back then so much values were portrayed. Muslims were really muslims.

And that is the summary of the current situation we live in. For now.

Happy Birthday!

Sedar tak sedar~


Sudah sebulan hamba dok blogging~


Selamat ulang bulan yg pertama blog!








Don't pay attention ye. Biasala..duduk kat rumah bukannya buat apa.. Otak pun..well..





Anyway, tidak disangka-sangka~ daripada saja-saja nak hilangkan rasa bosan, akhirnya jadi satu kegilaan. Yaaa..gila wa cakap lu.. Satu hari tak blogging tak sah, kata orang.





Marilah imbas kembali detik-detik permulaan..





Awal bulan Mac..





"Arggh! Bosannye! Macam manala nak habiskan masa cuti nii..?"





"Apa kata aku try blogging? (Dah habis takde idea la tu)"





"Ish, ape la blog ni. Leceh betul. Macam mana la orang boleh suka blogging ni? Add gadget la, customize sana, customize sini...blablabla.."





Seminggu kemudian..





"Angah!"





"Ye mak! Ade ape?"





"Where are you?"





"Kat bawah ni.."





"Tengah buat ape tu?"





"Emm.. adelaa..."





"Sekarang time masak kan..ha..jom cepat, tolong mak masak!"





"....(eergh..jap2..last word..last word..) coming~"





20 minit kemudian..





"Angaaaaahh!"





"Oops! Ok2! Betul2 coming! Sori ye mak sayang..*Sign out*"





The moral of the story; jangan terlalu cepat menilai sesuatu perkara sbelum kita mengenalinya. Kan dah tambah satu lagi penagih. Blog addict..hehehe

Tadi banyak idea..sekarang habuk pun takda

huhu...(sobbing)

Pagi tadi macam2 cek nak cerita. Last2..habuk pun tak dak... (Sobbing)

Malaysia's Sixth Prime Minister

Congratulations to Dato' Seri Najib Tun Abdul Razak for being sworn in as Malaysia's 6th PM yesterday. Malaysians seem to have good expectations and believe that Dato' Seri Najib is the man to lead the way during these trying times. What with the global economic crisis, Malaysia will certainly not be spared the effects. Good luck to our new PM and let's hope he fulfills his 3 main vows; towards a one malaysia, the people first and ensuring fast performance.

Can't Stand the Heat!!

The last 2 days were really hot. The house was stuffy. Even when I opened my bedroom windows, thinking it would be better to let it cool with the natural breeze, it became even hotter! This means that outside was even hotter than inside the house. Phew! No wonder I kept feeling thirsty..and I thought I was having a fever. I'm not the only one who thinks so. Dad also complained about the heat.



At night, things were still the same. I checked the temperature that morning, and it was 30 `C! That night I looked again at our wall thermometer (yup, we have a 'wall thermometer'), and it only went down 2`C! Maybe it's because i live in the city.



Thakfully, this Asar it rained for a while. It felt like a blessing after days of excessive heat. Makes me think ; Ive only endured TWO DAYS of a little heat, what will it be like at 'Padang Mahsyar', where it is told that THE SUN IS JUST 'SEJENGKAL' FROM OUR HEAD. Hmm, my 'cute' fingers certainly wouldn't be of much distance. I hope my family, friends and anyone who has taught me things, even little things, and certainly me, will be under the shelter of Allah's Arasy, for there is no other shelter ON THAT DAY other than Allah's Arasy.

AL-kisah perjalanan amal kita ke langit- last part

Akhirnya sampai juga amalan kita ke penghujung langit yang berlapis-lapis ini. Tetapi jangan gembira dulu, sebab belum tentu lagi amalan kita diterima. Entah2 kena 'reject'. Nau'zubillah, jom kita sama2 tengok apa syarat2 amalan yang diterima Tuhan berdasarkan petikan hadis Rasulullah yang dikasihi ini. Tapi sebelum itu, hendaklah hati-hati kamu turut sama 'membaca' hadis Nabi ini. Kalau kamu tak mampu menghadirkan hati-hati kamu, maka nasihat saya teruslah tutup 'page' ini dan jangan baca selagi kamu belum bersedia untuk mendengar apa yang dikatakan Rasulullah SAW.

Begini sambungan hadis baginda...

Kemudian datang malaikat hafadhah yang lain dengan membawa amal hamba yang
berhias dengan akhlak dan diam serta zikir yang banyak, dihantar oleh malaikat sehingga sampai di bawah Arasy. Lalu mereka semua bersaksi atas semua amal itu. Lalu Allah berfirman, "Kamu mencatat amal hambaKu dan Aku yang mengawasi hatinya. Dia tidak beramal untuk keredhaanKu, dia beramal untuk selainKu, maka ia mendapat laknat (kutukanKu)."

Berkata semua malaikat yang menyaksikan tadi, "MEMANG SELAYAKNYA IA
MENDAPAT LAKNATMU DAN LAKNAT KAMI."

Berkata penduduk langit, "Ia mendapat laknat Allah SWT dan LAKNAT
TUJUH PETALA LANGIT DAN BUMI SERTA LAKNAT KAMI."

Setelah mendengar apa yang Rasulullah SAW ceritakan itu maka Mua'z pun
menangis, dan dia bertanya, "Ya Rasulullah, apakah yang harus aku lakukan?"
Rasulullah SAW bersabda, "Hai Mua'z ikutilah jejak Nabimu dan teguhkan
keyakinanmu walaupun amalmu kurang, hentikan lidahmu dari berkata-katakan hal saudaramu, hendaklah selalu ingat akan dosa2mu dan jangan kamu tanggungkan dosa itu pada orang lain (iaitu jika kamu bersalah jangan menuduh orang lain), jangan memuji-muji dirimu dengan memburukkan orang lain dan jangan sombong diri dengan merendah-rendahkan saudara2mu dan jangan beramal untuk dilihat atau dipuji orang."

(Dipetik dan diubahsuai dari Himpunan Kisah2 Malaikat terbitan Darul Nu'man oleh Muhammad Isa Selamat tahun 2001 cetakan ke-3)

Macam mana? Apa perasaan setelah membaca kata-kata dari al-amin? Dari seseorang yang sentiasa berkata benar sepanjang hidupnya, malahan sebelum diwahyukan supaya menjadi rasul untuk ummat manusia selepasnya? Sebagai utusan untuk kita? Suka hati kamu untuk mempercayainya atau tidak, tetapi saya memilih alternatif/jalan yang lebih baik. Saya katakan alternatif sebab memang manusia diberi alternatif, diberi pilihan antara dua. Antara syurga dan neraka. Antara redhaNya atau laknatNya. Tiada pilihan ketiga. Hanya ada A dan B, tiada C apatah lagi D. Saya memilih syurga. Saya memilih redhaNya. Saya mahukan redhaNya. Saya inginkan redhaNya. Saya rindu untuk bertemu denganNya. Bagaimana dengan saudara2ku di luar sana? Apakah pilihan kamu? Sedarlah, kita semua BOLEH MEMILIH. Maka pilihlah untuk menjadi orang2 yang berjaya, janganlah kita menjadi manusia yang rugi (Khasirun).

Bukan suatu kebetulan

Aku tidak percaya pada kebetulan. Hidup ini bukan satu kebetulan. Hidup ini ialah anugerah Tuhan. Aku hidup kerana diciptakan Tuhan, bukannya aku berevolusi secara kebetulan seperti teori Darwin yang digembar-gemburkan di Eropah.

Aku seperti tidak percaya yang aku sedang menunggu untuk masuk kuliah di Kuantan bulan 7 nanti. Aku katakan tidak percaya kerana masa silamku penuh dgn masalah. Apa yg aku buat waktu zaman kanak-kanak dulu? Sedang kanak-kanak lain riang gembira bermain 'polis entri' bersama kawan-kawan, aku pula sering bersendirian. Mak cik- mak cikku selalu mengatakan aku ni budak yg 'cenge', iaitu daripada bahasa kedah yg bermaksud garang. Hahaha..memang aku garang pun. Kejap-kejap nak marah. Melenting tak tentu pasal. Sampai masuk zaman remaja pun 'still' terlekat lagi perangai tu.

Bukannya aku tak de kawan langsung. Alhamdulillah, aku ketemu ramai insan yang memahami dan mengambil berat pasal diriku. Sebenarnya aku rasa aku terlalu banyak berfikir. Selalu tersesat dalam dunia sendiri.

Entah kenapa aku asyik berfikir perkara yang sudah lepas. Mungkin sebab tu aku susah nak maju ke depan. Sejak aku terdedah dengan 'dunia sebenar', aku mula keluar drpd kepompong dunia sendiri. Aku mula menyedari bahawa aku ni makhluk yg harus hidup bermasyarakat, seperti kata Ibnu Khaldun, manusia ialah makhluk sosial, tidak boleh hidup sendirian. Dalam hidup bermasyarakat ada adab2nya. Iaitu haruslah saling menolong dan menghormati antara satu sama lain.

Tapi dalam masa yang sama, aku menghadapi konflik dalaman. Aku bingung dgn 'culture shock' yang menimpa. Bagiku, "life was always about playing and having fun. Endless fun. Watching cartoons, animes, reading kreko, comics, conan. That was life for me." Dan aku tak pernah ambil pusing pasal apa pun kat sekeliling aku. Itulah yang aku katakan 'terperangkap dalam dunai sendiri'.

"Dr Asri Zainal Abidin? Ha? Sape tu?" "SaifulIslam.com , best ke website tu?" Hahaha.. memang aku tak tau sape Dr Asri tu. Masa cuti ni, dalam beberapa minggu lepas baru aku tahu rupa Ustaz Asri tu. Oo..mufti negeri Perlis yang famous tu. Tapi kan...rupa2nya dia dah bersara tahun lepas! Adoi, aku ni memang teruk betul! Punyala famous'ustad tu, tapi aku sikit pun tak kenal! Lagi best, aku kenal lepas dia dah tak jadi mufti Perlis! Lawak...lawak..hai
OO..Ustaz Haron Din pun aku baru kenal lewat tahun lepas, tu pun lepas kawan aku tunjuk gambar dia kat buku. Aku kenal muka dia sebenarnya, tapi aku tak tau pulak yg tu rupa2nya Ustaz Harun Din. Ayah aku sendiri selalu cerita pasal kepakaran Ustaz tu tapi kan aku 'terperangkap' dalam dunia sendiri, so mana la nak tau kan..

Ok, back to the story. Entah macam mana, aku lulus dgn cemerlang dlm SPM..sampai sekarang rasa macam ajaib. Masa awal tahun 2006 (form 5) aku cakap dgn mak, "Mak, angah tak nak ambik SPM la tahun ni. Boleh tak angah ambik tahun depan? Takpela, angah sanggup repeat, ambik sekali dgn junior. Angah tak kisah, asalkan tak nak ambik SPM tahun ni." Masa tu aku tak fikir dah maruah aku, cuma takut sangat nak ambik SPM. Sebab waktu form 4 aku seronok sgt 'honeymoon', bila dah tinggal satu tahun lagi, aku panik. Rasa sangat tak bersedia. Kesian kat mak ayah masa tu. Macam2 aku mintak. Nak tukar sekolah la. Nak belajar kat sekolah biasa, kononnya dapat belajar kat rumah, lagi bagus, dapat fokus lebih. Bayangkan, dah 4 tahun aku menghabiskan masa kat SBP, tiba2 aku nak keluar, di saat2 akhir pulak tu. Kalau masa form 3 takpe jugak. Aku tak pegi sekolah lebih kurang 2 bulan kot. Bulan Mac baru aku start blajar semula dgn betul2. Semua tu hasil dorongan mak dan ayahku dan kawan2 ku. Sampai sekarang dan selama-lamanya aku akan terhutang budi, sebab hasil sokongan mereka aku tetap teruskan belajar kat SSMSMJ, dan akhirnya membuahkan hasil yang aku langsung tak jangka. Mungkin ramai kawan aku dah expect aku utk dpt cemerlang sebab aku ada rekod pelajaran yg cukup baik. UPSR 5A. PMR 8A. Tapi, biarlah aku cakap kat sini..masa SPM tu aku betul2 tak tahu aku buat apa. Aku cuma ingat latih tubi, kelas2 tambahan dan hasil bantuan kawan2 aku, memang supportive, aku tak tau nak cakap apa lagi. Aku sangat terharu dgn sokongan diorang. Dan, yg paling penting sekali...aku mintak tolong..."Ya Allah, tolong bg hambaMu SATU LAGI PELUANG...hambaMu nak tuntut ilmu lebih bnyk..lebih tinggi..hambaMu menyesal dgn kesia-siaannya selama ni..berikan satu lagi peluang buatku..aku tahu, dah bnyk kali Engkau mendengar doaku yg sama ini, berulang kali, dan aku selalu memungkiri janjiku. Tapi, kali ni, ana rasa, ni peluang terakhir ana utk terus belajar. Kalau ana tak dpt peluang belajar, ana tak tahu nak buat apa. ana tak dapat bayangkan apa yg ana nak buat..."

Begitulah doaku berulang-ulang kali. Sebelum keputusan SPM keluar pada bulan 3 thn 2007, aku telah dapat tawaran ke UTP dalam kursus ICT. PAda mulanya aku ragu2 sebab aku takut tak dapat bertahan lama, sebab aku tak minat ICT tu. minat sikit2 je. Tapi disebabkan aku takut keputusan SPM ku teruk, jadi aku buat keputusan untuk terima. So that aku still dpt belajar kat universiti, even if result SPMku sgt teruk. Sebenarnya ada proses streaming, iaitu melalui interview. SEkali lagi, alhamdulillah, aku berjaya masuk ke UTP.

Aku ingat aku dah matang sikit. Rupa2nya tak jugak. Hahaha..aku start belajar kat UTP bulan 1 lagi, masuk waktu org lain tgh cuti. Memang rasa terpaksa sacrifice waktu tu. Aku belajar macam biasa. Tiba2 keluar keputusan. SO, aku dan kawanku balik Kedah sekejap sebab nak ambik result slip. Waktu pengetua umum aku memang terkejut beruk. Well, cantik lagi la pada beruk..tapi mmg tak sangka dpt..9A1 1A2.. sednagkan trial aku 6A je, itupun dah ikut gred negeri, kalau ikut gred SBP, 5A je kot..

Alamak pjg pulak cerita ni..ok2. Lepas tu aku pun SAJE2 isi borang UPU, itupun 3 kali aku tukar pilihan. Saje2, main2, tak expect nak dpt pun. Lagipun zaman sekarang ni ramai yg dapat straight As. Tiba2 dapat pulak offer UIA, kos:Farmasi. Hmm, macam mana ni? Mula2 main2 je, tiba2 dapat lak. Aku belajar kat UTP dah 5 bln, minggu depan dah final exam. Lagipun aku ni kira laju sebab masuk U awal. And kalau aku stay kat UTP aku akan dpt RM500 setiap bulan, FOC. Ye, scholar Petronas memang kaya. Satu sem, 6 bulan dah RM3000. Dgr kata kalau blah, kene byr balik. Hmm, kesian kat mak ayah pulak. Lagipun patutnye aku dah tak leh dpt offer sebab UTP patutnye dah block mana2 tawaran lain. Tapi aku dah tahan belaja ICT ni.. tak minat la..bosan nak mampus..eh eh ..maksudnye bosan sgt2.. aku pulak memang minat bidang sains.. tapi rugila aku dah belajar 5 bulan kat sini.. Nanti kau minatla..lama2 mesti minat punye..

Sedang aku dlm dilema, akhirnya aku mgikut saranan mak, solat istikharah. Aku serahkan pada Allah sepenuhnya. Aku koyakkan kertas kepada 8 cebisan. 4 cebisan aku tulis 'farmasi', lagi 4 ditulis 'ICT' lalu aku letak semuanya di bawah sejadah. Dan aku solat sambil mengosongkan fikiran, cuba utk tidak berat sebelah pada mana2 pilihan. Ok, cara ni memang tak betul, tp aku dah try solat 1st time and aku tak mimpi ape2. Dgn desperatenye aku buatla cara ni, aku perlukan jwpn segera sbb exam final dah dekat. So..lepas solat aku bermohon kpd Allah supaya menunjukkan aku jalan manakah yg terbaik buatku. Jalan manakah yg mempunyai kebaikan padaku utk jangka masa yg pjg. Lalu aku mengaminkan doaku. Aku memejam mata dan membiarkan tanganku mencapai secara rawak. Dan aku dpt kertas 'farmasi'.

Pada mulanya aku berat hati nak terima petunjuk Tuhan itu. Sebab aku sayangkan RM500 tu. haha..memang mewah hidup seorang student UTP. Tapi at last, aku tinggalkan jgk Tronoh. Dan aku mendarat di Petaling Jaya.

So, what is the moral of the story? Apa kaitan dgn tajuknya? Hahaha.. aku memang dah melalut jauh.. Tapi aku rasa memang ada hikmahnya aku datang belajar kat CENFOS, UIA. Bahkan banyak sekali hikmahnya. Allah telah melindungi aku drpd gaya kehidupan yg bebas dan mennjukkan bhw ada yg lebih bernilai drpd wang. Aku juga belajar banyak pengajaran semasa di CENFOS, terutamanya melalui perbandingan diri dgn org2 di sekelilingku. Malangnya, dlm proses aku menimba pengalaman itu aku terpaksa menerima beberapa hakikat yang pedih. Biasalah, orang yg sedang belajar, banyak buat kesilapan. Walaupun pahit, tapi kepahitan itu salah satu proses belajar. Aku terasa bagai kanak-kanak kecil dlm kalangan org2 dewasa. Akhirnya rasa malu sendiri sebab selama ni apa yg aku tahu hanyalah bermain. That's it, playing. I didn't realized that I was already an ADULT. I was shocked, to tell the truth. Jadi, apa yg kukatakan "bukan suatu kebetulan" merujuk kpd perjalananku yg akhirnya ternoktah di IIUM. Hm, aku tak pernah merancang utk ke UIA. Aku hanya mengikut apa yg org tuaku tetapkan utkku. Mujurlah. Kalau tak sampai sekarang takde matlamat hidup.

Dan jauh di sudut hatiku, aku benar2 merasakan semua ini bukan suatu kebetulan. Hidupku baru saja bermula.