Want To Be Happy? Just Talk!

Monday, June 8, 2009

Everyday we search for things that can make us happy. When the holidays come by, we plan where to spend our holidays with our beloved family. Books, countless titles are written every year, just on how to find happiness in life. "The Chicken Soup", "How To Stop Worrying And Start Living" are some examples.

But, in the end, we still see people who are unhappy, stressed out, and even to the extent of being depressed. Let's face it, the world is not without problems. Problems are a part of life. You can't live without having to face a problem or two once in a while. The important thing is to stay within the limits, and not get too stressed out because of them.

I'm no doctor, but I do have some experience that I feel will be of some help to those who feel that life is nothing but a big dark cloud hovering on top of their heads, and that there's not even a ray of hope anywhere.

My advice is this; talk it out.

You feel that you're the only one who has ever experienced it, that nobody, not even your closest friend understands. Well, they never will unless you give them a chance. Talk to people about what's bothering you, preferably the person you think understands you the most. Some people feel their mothers are the ones who know them best, others may feel its their brother, sister or just someone of the same age. I prefer someone of the same age, because that's who I'm more comfortable with and because I feel people with the same age are closer to me.

An important thing is to find a person who's just willing to listen to you. She might not have the solution to your problems, but you would be surprised just how valuable a listener is.

I used to think that the ones who talk a lot are the kind of friends people are looking for, but as I grow older, my perspective changed. The nicest friends are not the ones who only want to talk about themselves, but the ones who listen more to you. Listening is a way of showing they care about you. It's a way of showing they are sincere or in Islam, "ikhlas" of being your friend.

"Happy" is a universal term. To a mukmin/believer for instance, the hardships and challenges that he faces in his efforts to teach the values of Islam, means happiness to him. Other people may not understand, fo example, how can you still be happy when you are poor? When your only possessions are a skin bag in which to hold water, and a few palm leaves which serve as your bed? Well, for one thing, I know that this person was never really in sadness; prophet Muhammad SAW. The possessions I mentioned earlier were his. But have you ever heard of him complaining? Of how hard his mission was, to teach Islam to the whole of human race, that it almost seemed impossible at first? How can one man do that, when humans hold no moral value at that time?
Well, he did it. He has succeeded in bringing light to this universe. The life that I live now is proof that he has succeeded.

Nabi Muhammad is not a man without problems, without challenges. We all know what happened, over 1400 years ago. He fought many wars, and most of the time went without food. He and his companions. It's not that they didn't suffer. They felt the pain, hunger and they even lost arms, legs, they were maimed for the rest of their lives.

How did they withstand all that pain? They talked. (Chuckles)

They talked to God. In their prayers, they talked to Allah SWT about it. They asked for patience and guidance to withstand it all. They shared their troubles amongst them and supported each other. But above all, they never forgot God. And so God never forgot them.

A professor cum doctor once told me, in one experiment, a patient who was having emotional problems, (you could say she was depressed) was tested for brain activity. At first she was reluctant to talk. But as soon as she started to open up a bit, suddenly there was a change in brain activity. The hormones that made her depressed started to slowly vanish, and replaced with hormones that made people happy. So, talking about problems really helps us.

I know it seems too much of a theory, but it really does help. If you don't trust anyone, then I can refer you to someone whom you can always place your utmost trust.

But I think you already know who He is. (Smiles)

Posted at 2:15pm