بسم الله الرحمان الرحيم
Alhamdulillah. (All praises are meant for Allah).
Today is a very meaningful day for me.
I am merdeka!!! (imagine sound of fireworks...)
"Merdeka" is not in your Oxford dictionary. It's a malay word which means, "Freedom!"
Ehem. Excuse me for a while dear readers...
(Yahooooooo!!!! Hooray!!!! Lalalalalaala......)
Uhuk2. Ehem. Fuh..(exhales) Okay, I'm ok. I'm allright. (smiles)
Allahu akbar. (Allah is the Almighty).
"Merdeka" to a country means free from physical dictatorship, able to establish a stable government. I say physical freedom, because Malaysia has been a free country for 53 years now, but there are still some aspects that is F.A.R from free...
"Merdeka" to a student.
Now THAT'S a different story. (smiles with all teeth, hehehe)
It means EXAMS are O.V.E.R!!!!!!
Wah2, happy nampak? (A little too happy, perhaps?)
I'm sure after this all my friends' blogs will be posting about "merdeka" too. (hehehe)
It's more than that
Yes, it IS more than just being free.
My last paper today, on November 13th 2010, at 9.00 am, Seat number 94, Exam Hall 2, Kulliyyah of pharmacy, IIUM Kuantan, Pahang Darul Makmur, Malaysia, Southeast Asia, Earth the blue planet, the Milky Way.....(ok2, somebody's still not OK as she claims to be..)
It's just that...today's last paper has a big meaning to me.
It's not just the end of all the exams.
But it also means...I have finally done something which I couldn't do the last time.
I have completed my first semester in B.Pharmacy.
This is just, too big a thing for me. Because...today, I can finally say the word "Complete".
After november 13th 2010, I have finally completed that 1st sem..
My friends in second year (Rx8) have already completed 3 semesters.
Me? Just 2.
Okay, for readers who are confused, well, my student life story is a little complicated. But I don't feel like talking right now. Maybe you can ask my closest friends...
This post is kind of personal.
It's not like I always write something personal about myself.
It's just that this time...it is just too deep a feeling. Too deep a satisfaction. One that can make your heart swell, really well. (hati lapang selapang-lapangnya.)
You know what, I'll tell you my story anyway. (tak tetap pendirian betul)
I enrolled in Kulliyyah of Pharmacy UIAM last year, on the year 2009. Technically, I should be a senior this year, in Second Year.
But the fact is I'm a first year again, this year, the year 2010.
I took a study leave for one whole semester, during the 1st semester of my first year.
Then I resumed my studies again in the 2nd semester of my first year.
Initially, I should still be able to study with currently second year friends, but due to the curriculum review, I had no choice. But to step back.
Step back one whole year.
Simply put, it is like I am enrolling for B.Pharmacy this year. It's just like I never studied the last semester, for I have to, sort of 'repeat' first year.
...Do you get my story? (paham ke tak ni? haha)
I'm not asking anyone's sympathy here. Oh no no no. I don't need it.
I told you, I just feel like posting something personal this time around.
Yeah, who asked me to take a study leave for one whole semester right?
Hey, for those who don't know me, I had my reasons. That's all I'm going to say.
But it taught me a lot of things. Things that I will share in the later part of my life. Maybe, when I graduate? Huhuhu..Insya-Allah.
I can't share those "things that I've learned" due to that decision, because I myself have not seem the full ...shall we say, wisdom (hikmah) behind all that has happened. I want to see, what else that I can learn and get from that fateful decision in one part of my young life. I want to see, how that decision will change my life in the next few years to come.
Yes, it was fate. I believed it was, fate. A fateful decision.
I still believed it so.
I believed Allah Taala is trying to teach me something, as I have always believed so.
Consequences. Consequences. Consequences.
Believe me, young people rarely think about that C word. About consequences (akibat).
That's because they're immature. That's because they're rushing. Towards what? (shrugs shoulders) No idea.
Just take me for example.
I'm young. I made my move. Sure, I had my reasons, but were they reason enough? (memang aku ada sebab sendiri, tapi betul ke sebab tu memadai?)
No, I'm not gonna say "Merry christmas". haha.
I was going to say, "Hohoho. Ummu hurairah, you have NO idea what's in store for you." (kau memang tak boleh jangka apa yang ada kat hadapan kau)
I did not expect that curriculum review.
No sir-ree. Nope.
And so, I had to make another move, because of my first move, back in THAT FATEFUL 1st semester.
"Madam, I want to join the new batch. Because if not, my study plan would be even more hectic (and crazy-though of course I did not said this! jatuhla air muka I..hee) than the initial plan."
Madam (Dean of Student Affairs) forgot about my case. That the curriculum review would affect me as well. Subhanallah, I never blamed her. She's been so supportive since that first semester. What more can I ask? After all, I'm just one student, and she has to take care of the well-being of all 300 ++ students of the faculty. I'm lucky she's concerned.
And so, another fateful decision did I made. Hmmh...fate, seems to be playing a lot with me?
Nah..(No). I am His makhluq (creation). Of course I am subject to His Qada' and Qadar. And He knows best, what is best for all His creations.
Besides, I was one of those young people who never thought things twice. And so, face the CONSEQUENCES Ummu Hurairah! Muahahahaha (evil laugh)
Consequence 1 - Turun tahun (became a 1st year again)
Consequence 2 - Losing old friends
Consequence 3 - Gaining new friends..?
Well, that's all I could think of. Those consequences that are manifesting themselves at the moment. More are soon to come. Brace yourself ummu hurairah, it's gonna be a bumpy ride! (like Harry Potter movie 3)
p/s: one of the things I regret most is...no.2.